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Soon your newborn will be tested for APGAR and gang affiliation Soon your newborn will be tested for APGAR and gang affiliation

What shape is your butt? What shape is your butt?

Cue Yakety Sax Cue Yakety Sax

Yes, gentlemen, the reason no one else is wandering around Florida swamps fighting off crocodiles and...Yes, gentlemen, the reason no one else is wandering around Florida swamps fighting off crocodiles and...

Florida prosecutor insists that he dropped assault charges against Trump's campaign manager based...Florida prosecutor insists that he dropped assault charges against Trump's campaign manager based...

Want to work at Ken Ham's Noah's Ark Park? Well, A) What the fark is wrong with you, and B) You've got to...Want to work at Ken Ham's Noah's Ark Park? Well, A) What the fark is wrong with you, and B) You've got to...

Giant sinkhole opens up in front yard of Des Moines, Iowa home. Make sense that hell would be underneath Iowa Giant sinkhole opens up in front yard of Des Moines, Iowa home. Make sense that hell would be underneath Iowa

Many large U.S. corporations paid zero federal income taxes. Next up - the revelation that all they care...Many large U.S. corporations paid zero federal income taxes. Next up - the revelation that all they care...

"It is an insult to octopuses to continually compare them to humans" "It is an insult to octopuses to continually compare them to humans"

Czech policeman goes to the top of the leaderboard for "Most parked cars hit while driving drunk" Czech policeman goes to the top of the leaderboard for "Most parked cars hit while driving drunk"

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Owl trained to deliver wedding rings crashes headfirst into church window. That's what Harry Potter gets...Owl trained to deliver wedding rings crashes headfirst into church window. That's what Harry Potter gets...

So what would happen if we just started paying poor people for being poor? You know, made it their actual...So what would happen if we just started paying poor people for being poor? You know, made it their actual...

'Sodomite slayer' pastor claims God will make flames shoot out of gay men's buttholes 'Sodomite slayer' pastor claims God will make flames shoot out of gay men's buttholes

Christians "tip" waitress with Bible passage calling for her death. You know, just like Jesus...Christians "tip" waitress with Bible passage calling for her death. You know, just like Jesus...

Fark Store Daily Deal: Cyber Security Hacker Training. My voice is my passport. Verify me. (Sponsored Link) Fark Store Daily Deal: Cyber Security Hacker Training. My voice is my passport. Verify me. (Sponsored Link)

"My husband said, 'look, we've got a visitor' and there he was walking into the house through the..."My husband said, 'look, we've got a visitor' and there he was walking into the house through the...

The Donald Trump of newspapers endorses the New York Post of candidates The Donald Trump of newspapers endorses the New York Post of candidates

Photoshop this dog day afternoon Photoshop this dog day afternoon

Chicago Alderman says leave urban coyotes alone, let them take care of the rats Chicago Alderman says leave urban coyotes alone, let them take care of the rats

'Napalm Girl' was haunted by the image of herself and the Vietnam War for years, but now embraces it 'Napalm Girl' was haunted by the image of herself and the Vietnam War for years, but now embraces it

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Quickies

News & Magazines

salon: Gaby Hoffmanns radical bush: Lets chat about pubic hair with the cast of Transparent

morning news: Trump Goes Hitler?

good magazine: California Ends Statute Of Limitations For Rape And Child Molestation Cases

findingdulcinea: On This Day: Ford Model T Unveiled

yahoo upshot: Future of Calif. horse racing at risk as Hollywood Park nears finish line

google spotlight: Peaky Blinders season 4: What happens next - and is Grace definitely dead? - The Week UK

new yorker: American Honey and Deepwater Horizon Reviews

observer: RuPauls Drag Race All Stars Recap 206: Shade for Sale

slate: The Rules According to Malcolm Gladwell

time: Airbnbs New Contest Lets Fans Crash with Mark Ronson at Abbey Road Studios

pbs newshour: Investigators delve into mystery of Hobokens rush hour train crash

upi: Explosion rocks former ammo plant in Louisiana; no injuries reported

life: Holocaust Survivor Experiences Her Own Rescue in Virtual Reality

groundreport: Presentation By Dr. Rimu Chaudhuri At Portland, Oregon

npr: BP Investors' Fears Grow They Could Lose Dividend

blog herald: These Are The Biggest Business Blogging Mistakes You Might Be Making

Politics

nytimes politics: Fight Over 9/11 Claims Now Likely to Shift to Manhattan Court

white house: Welcoming #TeamUSA to the White House

tpm: Trump: Debate Was "Rigged"

daily kos: Open thread for night owls: White supremacists, neo-Nazis continue to flock to Trump campaign

wonkette: Super Smart Trump Campaign Manager Accidentally Admits Her Boss Is A Criminal LOL OMG WTF

fivethirtyeight: The White House Is Not a Metronome

realclearp.: You, Too, Could Vote for Donald Trump

new republic: Why Clowns Creep Us Out

Business & Finance

wsj: Stocks Lifted by Prospective OPEC Deal

forbes: 'AutoMobili-D' is Detroit Auto Show's Answer to Butting In By Technology Exhibitions

walletpop: Street style tip of the day: Pretty pink

businessinsider: Cardinals win controversial game with playoff implications when Reds fail to challenge game-winning hit in...

thestreet: Hershey Rejects $23 Billion Acquisition Offer From Mondelez

freakonomics: Why Are We Still Using Cash?

harvard business: Macromanagement Is Just as Bad as Micromanagement

fast company: How IBM's Bluemix Garages Woo Enterprises And Startups To The Big Blue Cloud

seekingalpha: Friday's economic calendar

Tech

techcrunch: Andreessen: I feel 50 pounds lighter without Twitter

readwriteweb: Hypercat standard becomes Australian IoT cats meow

oreilly radar: What should Alexa do?

tnw: Sony PlayStation VR: First look

alley insider: This Alibaba app lets you ask strangers to deliver toilet paper

arstechnica: Amazon Game Studios reveals Twitchs first currency, betting systems

wininsider: Get Ready for Windows 7 'Release Candidate'

nytimes bits: Daily Report: A Net Neutrality Setback for Facebook in India

techmeme: FCC delays a vote on its plan to open the TV set-top box market after objections by cable industry and...

recode: Exploding robots may already be in your house

inquisitr: Keeping Track Of Everything In The Game Of Thrones Books Just Got A Whole Lot Easier

mashable: Kids stuck on a rollercoaster pass the time by dabbing until help arrives

macrumors: The CW's New Apple TV App Doesn't Require a Cable Subscription to Watch

intomobile: Two Companies Apple Should Acquire: Evernote and VMware

techradar: Here's why the government wants to investigate price comparison websites

Offbeat

theawl: New York City, September 28, 2016

oddee: 10 Stupid Terror Scares

time feed: Dolly Parton and RuPaul Prove They Are the Ultimate Friendship Goals

cracked: Should Kratom Be Banned? Here's What the Experts Say

laughingsquid: Benedict Cumberbatch Joins David Gilmour Onstage in London to Perform Vocals on Comfortably Numb

newslite: Sloth drops from tree into speed boat (VIDEO)

failblog: Heckling is 100% Fine as Long as You Can Putt Up To the Challenge

perezhilton: KARMA! Blac Chyna Just Posted Rob Kardashian's Phone Number!

hotair: Hillary on Trump and Cuba: Dont you hate it when politicians put their business interests ahead of the...

urlesque: How to Grow from Your Regrets

daily beast: Colbert Mocks Gary Johnsons Ignorance

stupidvideos: Goodbye For Now, Everyone

collegehumor: Money for College Game Show (with FIRST LADY MICHELLE OBAMA!)

google sights.: Undiscovered Hawaii: Lanai, Kahoolawe, and Niihau

urbandictionary: put me in the car

atlantic wire: Another Flogging for Wells Fargo

icanhascheezburger: This Guy Made a Tiny Stack of Pancakes for His Girlfriend's Kitten

Science

national geo.: Watch: Rosetta Spacecraft Crashing Into a Comet

brainpickings: A Cry of Gratitude: Baudelaires Beautiful Letter of Appreciation to Wagner

discover: 3-D Printed 'Hyperelastic Bone' Could Be the Future of Mending a Break

pop mechanics: 10 Surprising Facts About American Muscle Cars

instructables: How to Build a Premium Sous Vide Cooker

eduwonk: The Boss & School, Juvenile Justice, Jane Pauley, West On Driverless Trans, School By Design Launches,...

howstuffworks: The Most Embarrassing Moments in the History of Science

sci. american: Winners of the Scientific American Innovators Award Turn Trash into Water Filters [Video]

mentalfloss: Calculate Your Car's Carbon Footprint

io9: The Creators ofDaredevilWill Mastermind His Team-Up With TheDefenders

guardian science: Sharks fascinate us - but are we prepared to protect them from extinction?

5min.com: Mark Zuckerberg Hacked | Crunch Report

sciencedaily: Human and avian running on uneven ground

fastcolabs: How IBM's Bluemix Garages Woo Enterprises and Startups To The Big Blue Cloud

popsci: Who has seven thumbs and is up for a Philly Geek Award?

wired science: The Hoboken Train Crash: Heres What Comes Next

Green

treehugger: This startup turns deadly algae blooms into plastic alternatives

worldchanging: The New Worldchanging Is Coming

ecosalon: Seth Meyers Should Moderate a Debate [Video]

env. leader: Plastics Makers, County Officials Team Up to Increase Plastic Film Recycling

grist: EPA is breaking its own rules about protecting communities of color

inhabitat: Incredibly preserved 1950s Time Capsule House in Dallas could be yours

mnn: 6 things we learned from the Rosetta spacecraft

Gadgets

engadget: Logitech's newest webcam is for the livestreamers

uncrate: Dodge Ram Rebel TRX Concept Truck

gizmodo: That 'Sorry I Tased You' Cake That's Going Viral Is Totally Fake

mobilecrunch: Shazam is finally profitable after a billion downloads

cooltools: Pijio Tea Infuser

unplggd: Make It Work: Unique Ways to Make Tile Kitchen Countertops Look Totally Tasty

polygon: PlayStation VR Unboxing

notcot: Bend Goods Plant Stand. This indoor/outdoor...

springwise: Immersive dream adventures for hospitalized children

consumerist: Instacart Replaces Tips With Service Amounts, But Are Workers Being Stiffed?

joystiq: Logitech's newest webcam is for the livestreamers

crunchgear: Volvo to target luxury buyers with self-driving car coming in 5 years

kotaku: Breakaway is a new game from Amazon that has been built from the ground-up to support Twitch (which,

ohgizmo: Deal of the Day: 85% Off On Bluetooth Shower Speaker

huffpost food: The Pastis Fairytale Islands

Design

psfk: DESIGN: Another insight on PSFK for Members

designobserver: Adam Harrison Levy: Vulgar Lives

smashingmagazine: Automating Art Direction With The Responsive Image Breakpoints Generator

designspotter: Bibliochaise

core77: What Would Nature Do?

coudal: AD Top 5

flavorwire: The Sweetest Debut: Mauro Javier Cardenas Tells People His Book is About Alien Chickens, Writes iek Fanfiction

weburbanist: Worlds First Non-Rectangular Soccer Fields Activate Asymmetrical Spaces

wmmna: Childhoods under the lens of humanist documentary photography

archdaily: Hip & Gable / Architecture Architecture

thefwa: Resn

Work & Life

dumblittleman: How To Find The Best Topic For Your Blog

productivity501: The Future of Work Part I

unclutterer: Tech for winter storm preparedness

nytimes health: C.D.C. Advises Against Travel to Zika-Affected Countries in Southeast Asia

zenhabits: A Short Guide to Starting, if Youre Struggling

well: A 400-Pound Hacker? Trump Comment Ignites Fat-Shaming Debate

fitsugar: Pack a Different Healthy Lunch Every Day This Month With Over 30 Fresh Recipe Ideas

cntraveler: HotelTonights New Loyalty Program Is the Simplest One Yet

Women

glamour: We Legit Cant Get Over How M.A.C.'s New Magnetic Eyeshadow Works

ladylux: Family Vacation: The Best of Chicago

blogher: Where to Eat at #BlogHerFood16 in Austin, According to Locals

gofugyourself: Royally Played: Wills & Kate & George & Charlotte Take Canada, Day Six

jezebel: USA Today Publishes Presidential Endorsement for the First Time in its History: 'Don't Vote for Donald Trump'

Men

artofmanliness: Podcast #239: Saving Your Marriage Before It Starts

gm gadgets: Renovo Coupe The Disrupting Electric Supercar

mens health: Squat Bigger, Run Faster, and Jump Higher With This One Move

gq: The Dolphins' Color Rush Uniforms Are Shockingly, Offensively Orange

Sports

espn: Cards' October hopes alive after disputed win

deadspin: A.J. Green Will Catch Anything You Throw At Him

foxsports: Best photos from the Federated Auto Parts 400 at RIR

autoblog: All our 2016 Paris Motor Show live photo galleries

sports ill.: NBA Mock Draft: Another change at the top

yahoo sports: Green dominates as Bengals rout Dolphins (Yahoo Sports)

Movies & Music

moviefone: Ryan Gosling Is Inviting You to the 'Blade Runner 2' Set ... Sort of

apple trailers: Rules Don't Apply - Trailer 2

slashfilm: Down Under Is the Skin-Crawling, Bleakly Hilarious Race Riot Comedy That 2016 Deserves [Fantastic Fest Review]

firstshowing: First US Trailer for Assayas' 'Personal Shopper' with Kristen Stewart

tmz: Blac Chyna -- Sends Out Rob's Number ... Now 'No More Bitches' Can Text Him (VIDEO)

ew: GoDaddy pulls Super Bowl ad animal rights activists called 'cruel and irresponsible'

defamer: Let's Crack Open the "TMZ Vault"

screenrant: Thor: Ragnarok Karl Urban Wraps Filming As Skurge

stereogum: Cashmere Cat Trust Nobody (Feat. Selena Gomez & Tory Lanez)

mtv news: Lady Gaga Confirms Shes Headlining The 2017 Super Bowl Halftime Show

billboard: Solange Drops New Album, 'A Seat at the Table': Listen

latimes music: YouTube star is accused of vandalism after saying he was attacked near a WeHo gay club

Photos & Comics

reuters photo: Jesus in Philadelphia

wsj photojournal: Starting Over: Hurricane Katrina Evacuees Thrive in Houston

kodak picture: Wednesday, 31 Aug 2016

nyt lens: The Brotherhood of Big City BMX

vi.sualize.us: Nishe

petapixel: Photoshop Tip: How to Crop & Resize a Photo to Exact Dimensions in One Step

500px: The Mountain Sea by Marc Adamus

ffffound: Magazine Wall - Collect Magazine (Adelaide, Australia)

xkcd: Fixing Problems

dilbert: Comic for September 29, 2016

gapingvoid: gratitude precedes happiness

Voices

seth godin: Fully baked

kevin kelly: Whats in My Bag? Elon Schoenholz

jason kottke: Man films annual personal report from 1977 to 2011

chris brogan: Sing the Hell Out of Your Song

anderson cooper: AC360 has a brand new blog!

robert scoble: Spatial Computing: why Tim Cook better worry

jeff jarvis: Change is bullshit

craig newmark: How the White House is Using Tech to Change the Country

michelle malkin: Like mother like daughter: This months Al Gore Eco-Crusading Junior Mega-Hypocrite award goes to

paul krugman: A General Theory Of Austerity?

h. armstrong: What institutionalized racism looks like inside our system of education

john battelle: I feel terrible about this site.

matt cutts: A brief update

loren feldman: Silenced Poster

mark cuban: Virtual Reality Gave Me My Brain Back

doc searls: @Staples, you can Un faster than that.

jessica hagy: How many more weeks until this election is over?

dave winer: Blogging bloggers blogs

swissmiss: How Boeing Builds a 737 in Just Nine Days

d. weinberger: The Trump Stand-in Audition Tapes

stowe boyd: "History is not made by cynics. It is made by realists unafraid to dream."

tom peters: BrightStar Care Annual Conference

Vlogs

mediaite: Megyn Kelly: Cant Trump People Just Shut Up About How Much Women Should Weigh?

cnn-video: Girl's speech inspires city of Charlotte after shooting

videogum: Tips to Help to Train Your Dog

bbc-video: EgyptAir hijack: Man jumps from plane cockpit window

funny or die: 11 Celebrities During Their Awkward James Woods Phase

reuters-video: Wildfires ravage eastern Siberia

heavy: Trevor Noah, The Daily Show: 5 Fast Facts You Need to Know

liveleak: Low Rider Competition Results in Crash

diggnation: The Gang Does RSA

breitbart news: Video Shows Black Lives Matter Protesters Clash with Portland Police

tekzilla: Epson Home Cinema 3500 Review, Maltego Finds Hidden Info, 3 Amazing Wearables, Survive Black Friday &...

slate v: This New E. Coli Strain Produces Commercial-Grade Gasoline

motherboard: Texas is Now One-Quarter Wind Powered

twist: E677: Chris Sacca & Matt Mazzeo, Lowercase Capital, Part 2

thisamericanlife: This Week on the Radio: "One Last Thing Before I Go"

ted: Can we build AI without losing control over it? | Sam Harris

clipsyndicate: Florence Hartmann denounces her ICTY detention